47.
Before Milly’s divorce, upon the wall of her college auditorium, a hologram gleamed:
— My Love/Hate Relationship with Belinda Carlisle
Milly walked to the podium.
One student asked another, “Who’s that?”
“Damien Goode’s wife.”
“I knew that. I meant Belinda Carlisle.”
“No idea …”
Belinda ©1986 I.R.S. Records
“Look at Belinda!” Milly pointed at the album cover. “Men would kill to take her to bed.”
The professor raised his eyebrows.
“People paid big money to watch her sing,” Milly said. “Belinda flew on airplanes, ate at the finest restaurants, and stayed in the nicest hotels. But look at what she sang.” A hologram appeared:
— I
“One letter. One word. One woman.” Milly raised her left hand, like a conductor. “One note — held — sung with strength.” She clenched her fingers into a fist, knuckles facing the audience. “But how does Belinda follow it?” The hologram added:
— GET WEAK
🎵 “I Get Weak” – Belinda Carlisle 🎵
“That’s the actual song title. Where did she go wrong? Belinda spent years burying her face in drugs, pining away over men: nameless, forgotten, now existing only as words in her song. I know pain. But I still don’t understand Belinda’s pain. We’ve discussed lack of ‘sense of self’ in class.” Milly’s bracelet glimmered. “Belinda’s self, like mine, isn’t just who, but what, in combination. Let’s read the rest of the lyrics, which get even more painful …”
But Belinda didn’t write those lyrics, she just sang them. The song came from a different album than the cover Milly showed. There was so much in Milly’s psychology classes that might’ve been helpful two decades prior.
Later, the professor offered a chair in his office. “That was a very creative presentation, Milly, but you’ve fallen behind. Travel, martial arts, your marriage — it’s taken a toll. You can finish next semester.”
“But my divorce is getting ugly. I can’t wait. You have power to do this: a hardship exception. Aren’t I exceptional, James?”
“I’m sorry. It might be construed as unethical for me to graduate you right now.”
James changed his mind. Milly made sure of that. Not who, but what — an object — tucked away here, in The Now, once revealed, will show us how.